Miranda Priestly and the Bottle of Steak Sauce
by SouthernBelle11
Summary: What can go wrong when your Best Friend calls you to ask "Wanna watch your best friend Chug A Bottle of Steak Sauce?"


_**Author's Note- Hi Guys please find below my first ever DWP fiction, so please be gentle.**_

 _ **This One Shot goes out to Text-From-Runway on Tumblr, I saw her picture & I was inspired to write the below.**_

 _ **Disclaimer- I don't own any of the character in this one shot (my bank balance reminds me of this daily). They belong to their respective owners and actors.**_

 _ **Tumblr Prompt- "(951) Wanna See Your Best Friend Chug A Bottle of Steak Sauce?" "Go to Sleep"**_

 _ **Enjoy!**_

 **-** _ **THEDEVILWEARSPRADA**_ **-**

If you ask anyone in the fashion industry they would all say that Miranda Priestly was their friend. However if you ask Miranda about those people, she could barely tolerate them on a good day. But there are a small handful of us that have succeeded in getting through her walls and she would call her friends. There are a couple of us that she would call best friends, we are Miranda's dynamic duo.

The two people in the whole world that she calls her best friends. Me and Mr Nigel Kipling.

I'm not sure at what point she admitted defeat and let me in and called me a friend, I think it was somewhere between my wakeup call from Nigel and the 'Impossible Harry Potter'. I know exactly the point where we became best friends. It was that night in Paris, where her stupid ex-husband faxed her the divorce papers, where he vowed to take away everything when she was half the world away. That was the first night I saw the real Miranda Priestly and she saw Andrea Sachs, not another 'Emily'.

I love the title of Best Friend of Miranda Priestly 90% of the time, Trips to the Hamptons, Designer Discounts, Fashion Shows & Getting to know the real Miranda Priestly as a mother and a woman. But 10% of the time it felt like a curse! It was worse than been her assistant, much worse, there was no amount of training that could prepare you for some of her ridiculous phone calls, or the time of day they would occur. For example, after returning from Paris and divorce number 2 was well underway she would ring me at ridiculous times in a morning to tell me even more ridiculous ideas as to why he left, all of which were nothing to do with him been a cheating asshole, but all to do with Miranda.

Last night also fell into the 10% category, in fact I think it hit the top spot. I'd blown off a night of fine dining and cocktails in favour of an early night after drinking cheap wine and easting greasy Chinese with Doug.

The night was going great, I'd managed to catch up on the shows on my TVR box, done some Laundry and had a catch up with my first friend in NYC. It had all gone to plan and by 11pm I was waving to Doug out of my apartment window and loading the dishwasher merrily on my way.

By 11.30 I was curled up in bed reading my book looking forward to a weekend of sleeping late, grocery shopping and cleaning my apartment, who knows maybe even start to look for a new one.

I was in a deep sleep and in the middle of an amazing dream when I heard the familiar ringing off in the distance. Cracking one eye open I located the source of the noise. Swiping the call, I put the phone to my ear only to pull it away to muffle some of the background noise.

"Miranda…What's wrong?"

"Andreaaahh. Are you sleeping?"

I now opened both my eyes, trying to find the flashing red numbers on my nightstand, huffing my bangs out of my face I replied.

"It's 1 in the morning! Go Figure!"

"I just thought you might want to come join us… Things are about to get interesting"

I bolted up right now. I knew something stupid was about to happen, the playful tone of her voice gave it away.

"Miranda…Don't do anything stupid!"

"Dear Andrea, It's simply going to be a game of Never Have I Ever"

I'd been here before this was THE worst possible outcome right now.

"Nope! Stupid Idea! Don't Mir Please!" I'd seen people play this before and loose badly MP knew how to push my buttons.

"Oh but don't you want to see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?"

As she finished her question my feet were out of bed and heading for the closet in the dark, hoping to find some clothes. I knew it was now time to intervene.

"No Mir I don't…I'm coming where are you?"

"I knew you would! 1661. Bye"

With that the line was dead and she'd gone.

 **-** _ **THEDEVILWEARSPRADA**_ **-**

By 1.30am I'd managed to dress, put on a respectable amount of makeup and was currently taming my hair into some kind of pony tail in the back of the cab as it headed off across the city. ' _God Damn Miranda Priestly you do infuriate me'_ been muttered under my breath as we went.

The cab had barely stopped at the curb as I opened the door and threw some cash at the driver. I'd either just way underpaid him or made his night, I didn't care at that moment, I just had to get to her. I could see the que round the corner so I headed straight for the bouncer at the door.

"Evening Frank. What's she like tonight?"

"Hey Andy Girl! She's on fire! You her ride?"

"Ain't I always?"

Ignoring the shouts from the que I slipped through the door blowing Frank a kiss as I went.

Her iconic hair was enough to locate her through the crowd, but her laugh confirmed her place. As I closed in on her usual booth I could see the empty bottles and the debris of lime wedges and salt. This was bad very bad! It also made me a little sad, looks like I'd missed a good night.

I stepped into the booth to be met with a very red faced Nigel and an equally drunk Miranda.

"Andrea darling! You made it, I wasn't sure you would; Come, sit, and drink some champagne"

Miranda Priestly doesn't do physical contact, so I was definitely not prepared for her to grab my hand, so when she did and tugged I was a goner, landing firmly in her lap.

"Umpfh… Let me up Mir please"

"Nope. I'm sure I'm comfier than the seat"

I adjusted myself as seen as I wasn't going anywhere soon. I was passed a glass of champagne, I was quite content sat here, but I wasn't going to say that!

"So what's all this about you chugging bottles of steak sauce?"

She adjusted herself beneath me and subsequently I fell deeper into my seat and deeper into trouble. She responded with a laugh that I'm sure I could feel before I could hear.

"We were simply playing Never Have I Ever and Nigel here doesn't believe just how young and wild I once was, so he told me to Prove It"

"Couldn't you do something a little less crazy? Like chug a bottle of wine, do some ridiculous dare?"

"Well I could have, but where's the fun in that?"

With a grow of defeat l I shot Nigel a look that simply spoke volumes and reiterated the point with a swift 'I'll deal with you later'

His only response was a huff and a laugh as he rose from his place and slipped on his coat.

"Well as much fun as this is ladies I really must be going! I have a hot date planned for tomorrow and I want to look my best. You got this six?"

Managing to get out Miranda's grip I rose from her lap I enveloped Nigel in a hug.

"Yea I got it, not like it's my first Rodeo anyway…Have fun tomorrow and tell Doug I say hi"

"Will do… G'Night Six"

As I spun back round towards Miranda I saw a look that she only reserved for dream crushing and fire breathing. God I was in trouble but I didn't care one bit!

"Are you here to take me home Andreah? Or do you want to play?"

"Come on M if you still want to play I have tequila back at my place, we can play there"

It seemed like I'd managed to convince her to finally leave, not before we finished the bottle of champagne. I helped Miranda off the couch and get her in her coat. As we headed out of the booth I text and Uber to come get us and she grabbed that damn bottle of steak sauce. When I suggested my place I knew that she wouldn't resist a comfier place to drink. I knew she'd end up passed out on my couch 10 minutes after walking in.

We blew kisses and waved bye to Frank as we left, with a promise to see him the same time next week. I bundled the pair of us into the waiting Uber heading back across the city to my apartment.

 **-** _ **THEDEVILWEARSPRADA**_ **-**

I has severely under estimated Ms Priestly, by the time we reached my apartment building she had perked up considerably and had her second wind.

"Come along Andrea! I don't have all day"

With a huff and an eye roll I followed her to the elevator. As the doors closed I could feel my impending doom falling from the sky.

She exited the elevator first, pulling her keys from her purse.

Apparently tonight was classed as an emergency as I'm damn sure that was why she had a key to my place. I made a mental note to speak to her about what constitutes as an emergency when she wasn't full of tequila and champagne.

Pushing the door open wide it shocked me just how familiar Miranda was with my apartment as she walked right into the kitchen area, dropped her coat and purse on my island and hopped up onto the stool.

"So Miranda… Tequila?"

"No. I seemed to have had a change of heart. I think tea might be better at this late hour"

I rolled my eyes at her as I headed past her to my bedroom.

"Well you know where everything is"

All I was met with was her signature cackle.

 **-** _ **THEDEVILWEARSPRADA**_ **-**

As I stepped out of the bathroom the sight before me took my breath away. There laid against my headboard in my old t-shirt and boxers was Miranda Priestly, resident fashion icon and apparently lover of baggy t-shirts! People would never believe them if I told them.

"Oh Andrea would you stop staring at me and come here before your tea gets cold"

As I approached my side of the bed Miranda got off and headed into my bathroom to remove her make up.

While I sat sipping my tea I realised a few things.

It was 3.30am Saturday Morning and I was exhausted

I had all Miranda's products in my bathroom

No work tomorrow so I could sleep all day!

Miranda was staying over.

It was only Miranda clearing her throat that brought me back to reality as she joined me on the bed.

We made small talk, catching up on the girls and Nigel's date with Doug until we both started to fall asleep. I grabbed our mugs, filled with now cold tea and padded out to the kitchen to drop them off in the sink, they'd make their way into the dishwasher at some point tomorrow.

I grabbed hold of the counter to steady myself with a deep breath as I headed back. God it wasn't like it was the first time I'd shared a bed with MP. It just felt different. The way MP looked at me as I padded back across the room I knew it was different.

 **-** _ **THEDEVILWEARSPRADA**_ **-**

I laid there contemplating telling her how I feel, I just didn't' want to ruin this amazing friendship and this crazy little family we'd created. I could feel Miranda sigh as I reached over her to turn off the lamp. I wasn't reading anything into this until the sun came up and it was a new day. I was putting the closeness down to fact she was too tired to notice.

We'd just got settled and my eyes had just shut when she sat bolt upright in bed.

"Miranda its 4 in the morning where the hell are you going?"

"Well you see… Andreaaah are you sure you don't want to see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?" I could hear her smiling in the dark.

Throwing my arm round her I dragged her back down to be laid on the bed, as she got comfortable I pulled her in close so I knew she couldn't get up. And secretly I knew she was a cuddler and wouldn't mind.

"For the love of God Miranda… PLEASE… Just go to sleep"


End file.
